Compassion in Program Management

Before reading this blog, close your eyes for a moment and think about the best person that you worked with? Now think about the qualities that made them stand out. I am sure one of the qualities is compassion.

What is compassion? Compassion is defined as “the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering”. Greater good magazine has an excellent article on Compassion and the benefits of practicing compassion. Jeff Weiner explains the difference between compassion and empathy beautifully here.

I have been thinking about what I need to do to become a better TPM and I chanced upon Compassion in Leadership Summit and Academy. That summit was very inspiring and after attending that, I made a commitment to be more compassionate in my job and also share this with other TPMs. In case you are wondering what compassion has to do with TPMs, I am going to list down various ways in which you can show compassion in Program Management.

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems” – James Clear

One of the best nuggets of wisdom that was shared during the summit was that just having goals is not enough and that we need to put systems in place to meet our goals. So, I am going to talk about some of the systems we can put in place to manage program teams compassionately.

Recognition

Recognition is the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about compassion in Program Management. Appreciation is a fundamental human need and most team members feel that their efforts are not recognized. Empathize that recognition is a basic need and have the following systems in place to ensure you take action:

1. Thank you emails – Recognition has to be timely. Some of the other forms of recognition may take time and so the simplest and fastest thing you can do, is to send a heartfelt email thanking the team member. Be specific, copy their manager and any other key stakeholders as appropriate. If it is a significant milestone, have one of the key stakeholders (may be the Product Manager or Engineering lead) send that email.  If your teams are colocated, you can write a note on a post-it.
2. Status reports – Add a section in the status report template to highlight “Wins”. Ensure to call out the key contributors. You might not have “Wins” in every status report. Having this section in the template will ensure that you would think about it explicitly.
3. Gratitude exercises during meetings – Have “Gratitude” as a standing agenda item in status meetings, retrospectives, scrum of scrum calls or any other forums where it is appropriate. Have people appreciate team members that have helped them. Ask them to be specific. Be a role model and start off the meetings by recognizing someone for their efforts.
4. Program/Project closure emails – Always ensure to give kudos to the key contributors in the project/program closure emails.
5. Use the employee recognition systems that are in place at your work.
6. Celebrations / Swag – If budget permits, ensure to celebrate key milestones by having an offsite or order swag etc.
7. If there are any introverts or shy folks on the team that are not comfortable with public recognition, honor their wishes and figure out what is appropriate for them.

These are just a few examples. Key is to make sure you take the time and effort to ensure team members feel recognized and appreciated. Don’t overdo this and ensure it is timely, genuine and authentic.

Conflict resolution

I am not going to talk about “conflict resolution” as it is a very complex topic, but things to keep in mind as it relates to compassion in program management. Some types of conflict inflict suffering on the people involved and we should strive to alleviate this. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Role definition – One of the common causes of conflict is when there is no clear delineation of roles. Create a roles and responsibilities matrix. Here is a good article that covers creating a RACI matrix in detail.
2. Decision making – Use RAPID decision making framework for complex decisions. Creating this takes time and there might be some initial resistance to this however, is a very helpful tool when there is a conflict with a decision as we define the “Deciding authority” upfront.
3. Success criteria at various levels – Strive to get clear definition of success defined at the program, project, epic, story level and get buy-in from the key stakeholders.  This ensures that everyone is aligned and there is no conflict when we declare a program/project or something a success.
4. Team charter – Not all teams create team charter but I highly recommend creating a team charter. It helps build a shared understanding of how teams will operate. As part of the team charter add a section about dealing with conflict during meetings. Have the team agree on how they will deal with heated discussions. Ex: When anyone of the team members identifies that the discussion is not progressing in the right direction they can “yellow card” the discussion by showing “post-it” as a visual cue and then take the discussion offline or whatever is appropriate. This empowers the whole team to take action when discussions are not going the right way.
5. If you are having an interpersonal conflict, step back and think from the other person’s perspective. Be a spectator of your own thoughts (as written by Ray Chambers). Think about the story you are telling yourself and view that story as a third person. Practice compassion and forgiveness. Empathize that the other person might also be suffering and figure out what actions you can take to end that conflict in a productive way. Recognize that it is easier to be compassionate with the people that we get along with vs. the people that we can’t get along with. It is all the more important to be compassionate with the people that we can’t get along with. If you are unable to step outside the situation and think clearly, confide in someone that can give you objective guidance to help in these situations.

Retrospectives

I talked about Retrospectives in one of my earlier blogs and that you can use it not only for sprints but other purposes as well. If you do not have any lessons learned or retrospectives in your program, add them in at a regular cadence. When you run a retrospective, ask the team which issue will have the maximum impact on their productivity and identify feasible steps to fix that issue. Ensure to take action. Intention here is to make things better for the team.

Team / Program changes

Programs are typically long standing and team changes are inevitable. Some tips to handle the team changes compassionately:

1. If there is a new TPM joining the program, take the time to walk through the program structure, execution framework, roles and responsibilities. Work with the TPM to see if there is anything they would like to do differently. If possible try to accommodate that. If not, explain the rationale. Imagine if you were in this situation, how appreciative you would feel if the other TPM is open to your feedback. This will be a good first step in building a healthy relationship with your peers. Do not feel threatened or competitive but be open to feedback.
2. If you are transitioning the program to another TPM, during the transition or once the transition is over, ensure that you redirect any questions you might get, to the new TPM. Do not do anything to undermine the authority of the new TPM.
3. If there is a new member joining the team, as part of the onboarding process, ensure to set up some time with the new member and go through the process, history of the program/project/team, your role and that you are available for any help that they might need. It might not always be feasible depending on the team size, but this small gesture will go a long way in making the new member welcome to the team.
4. If there is a major change in the team or the program direction, schedule a meeting and have the team talk about their greatest fears. Depending on how trusting the team is of one another, you can have them submit their fears anonymously or talk about them openly. See if there is anything you can do to address any of their fears. Oftentimes, even if we are not able to address their fears, the fact that they were able to share their pent up feelings would help them a great deal psychologically.

Status reports

I remember this incident very vividly – when I first transitioned into a TPM role and was managing my first ever program, I used to collate status from individual teams and then send out the overall program status. There was an instance where one of the teams was running behind and was not going to meet the timelines. I changed the program status to ‘red’ indicating that it was because xyz team was behind plan. I ran into the engineering manager the next day and he had such a strong reaction to me reporting that we are ‘red’ because of his team. I was very upset with the way he spoke to me and could not understand why he reacted that way. In my mind all I did was to report the status exactly the way it was and could not figure out anything wrong with it. I spent the whole day replaying the conversation in my head and based on my mentor’s suggestion decided to have a candid conversation with the manager.  I spoke to the manager the next day (after I got my emotions under control) and he mentioned that he was totally caught off-guard with that status and that he was bombarded with questions from his upper management. He expected me to talk to him first before sending out the status report so that he would have been prepared to answer any questions.  In all the hours I spent speculating about the situation, I never thought about the manager’s perspective. It was a big aha moment for me when I heard his side of the story. From then on, whenever a program status is red, I always notify the managers/any key stakeholders first. I also word the status in such a way that I am not blaming any team but highlighting the issue with a plan to get back to ‘green’.

While I did not think about this as compassion at that time, but thinking through this from the lens of compassion, I did cause him suffering and subsequently I have taken action to prevent it from happening again. Here are a few things that TPMs can do to ensure we reflect compassion through status reports:

1. Identify the right stakeholders and their expectations and include the right level of detail in the status. Ensure it is meaningful.
2. Highlight wins.
3. Hold teams accountable for right status updates.
4. If status is yellow or red, work with the team to identify a ‘back to green’ plan and include it in the status. Ensure to notify the respective managers and any other key stakeholders before sending out the status to wider audience. Do not leave people wondering about the ‘back to green’ plan.
5. If there are any misses, ensure to notify people before sending out the status about the misses.

Performance feedback

Were you ever surprised by the feedback provided during performance reviews? If no, you are lucky 🙂

There were a few instances where I was completely blindsided by some of the peer feedback that was provided and was deeply hurt by it. There might be numerous reasons why that feedback was not shared with me directly but I so wished that the other person shared it with me so that I had an opportunity to clarify or rectify. Ever since, whenever I have some feedback, I try to put myself in others shoes and think if my feedback would benefit the other person and if the other person would be receptive to it. If the answer is yes to both the questions, I share the feedback directly with the other person. While these conversations are not easy and do not come naturally to everyone, they are very important in building trust between you and the team members.

As TPMs, if someone on the team is not meeting their commitments, have a conversation with the team member instead of escalating to their manager. Explain the impact and work out a plan collaboratively, to fix things in future. Offer to help in any way you can.  

In the same token, if someone is doing a good job, tell them that and encourage them to continue doing the same. Find opportunities to showcase their work. Pass on the positive feedback to their managers.

Coach and Mentor

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

Share your learnings by mentoring and coaching. Spread compassion.  

If someone asks you to review any of their work, do the due diligence in reviewing their work and providing valid feedback. If you are unable to spend the time that is needed, say that instead of saying something generic.

Self-compassion

Last but not the least – practice self-compassion.  Be realistic about your own capabilities and limitations. Understand that you will not be able to take action on everything and fix everyone’s suffering. Define your boundaries.

Summary

Several studies have shown that spreading compassion has multiple benefits and very important for building motivated teams. Hope this blog would influence you in managing programs compassionately. Here is my call to action for you – identify one thing that you would do differently after reading this blog and please add that as a comment. If you have any other suggestions, please let me know that as well in comments.